Subconscious Desires
by C4bubbles.boom
Summary: Hikaru has been having dreams that almost reflect what he has been secretly thinking and wanting. Will this effect his relationship with the host club when he figures out what he wants? Or even worse, will it effect his relationship with Karou? Rated M for later yaoi, and adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

Subconscious Desires

By

Chapter 1: Dreams

_A red headed teen dashed down hallway after hallway, trying to follow the cries and screams of pain. His heart was beating out of control and he could feel the cold sweat bead on his forehead. No matter where he turned or which door he opened he was confronted with a brick wall with blood dripping down between the cracks. The smell of blood was so strong; he could almost taste the iron in the air. _

_"Karou!" the teen yelled, as loud as he could. Tears streamed down his face._

_"Hikaru!" the younger twin cried out painfully. Hikaru could hear the distress in his brother's voice. His eyes blurred as he flew down another hallway. He flung open a door. To his surprise he wasn't met by a brick wall. He was ready to jump out in glee, until he saw his brother._

_ Karou was hung in the air by his wrists, his toes barley touching the ground. Tears stained his face, where dirt wasn't. His eyes were puffy from crying so hard, and one was swollen purple from being hit. His body was stripped of all clothes, and was beaten. Red puffed up lines scattered along his body with deep jagged cuts from a whip with hooks and metal at the were also burns that looked like they were still etching into his skin. One in particular was still smoking. The smell was horrid. Hikaru's heart stopped and his stomach dared to heave everything. His eyes burned from tears and his throat had gone dry. _

_"Hika..." his twin whimpered, daring not to move. Hikaru stepped forward and reached for his brother. A pool of blood collected at his feet. _

_"Ka-" Hikaru was cut short by the sound of his brother gagging. The room stretched and Karou seemed miles away. "No… No. NO!" Hikaru shouted, running as fast as he could to catch his twin. He could see Karou spit up black tar. It started to ooze out of his mouth and nose, then his eyes, and out of every wound. The goo flowed thickly, falling to the floor with loud plops. _

_ Karou pulled at the restraints, trying to breath. Hikaru could hear him gasping, and choking on the tar, slowly suffocating him. Hikaru screamed at the top of his lungs. "NO KAROU!" The pain in his chest was building up and making it harder to breath, but he couldn't fathom the torment with brother was in. He tried to take a step to save him, but fell and noticed the gunk piling at his feet. _

_Hikaru reached a hand up to his brother, yelling. The goo was slowly climbing his body, pulling him down into the ground. He watched his brother gurgle more, and squirm frantically, before falling still. Karou's head dropped and hung low. Hikaru screamed for his brother, snot and tears falling on the ground. _

_"No no! Karou!" the teen yelled, his heart shattering as he watched his brother die before his eyes. Without noticing the black goo that seeped into his mouth. When the tar touched his tongue he desperately tried to spit it out, but with every inhale the tar would shoot to the back of his throat. He coughed, racking his brain for a way out of this, gasping for air. The tar found its way into his eyes, stinting horribly. Hikaru tried to yell for help, but he had no air for the scream to carry, and the pains in his chest meant he couldn't even yell that loud. _

_He wouldn't allow it to end this way, he wanted to live! But all was hopeless. He could feel the tar pool in his lungs, and his muscles grew weak from lack of oxygen. Slowly, painfully, all alone, without any hope or strength to fight, Hikaru's vision faded to black._

In a panic Hikaru sat up. His throat was dry and his eyes were swollen from crying. Karou's amber eyes stared into Hikaru's. Karou's hand was on his chest. Hikaru's breath hitched, and tears streamed down his face. He was more than happy to see his brother still alive. Karou's eyes brimmed with tears, and he quickly bent down to hug his brother. The older twin hugged back and sobbed uncontrollably. Karou's grip only tightened.

"You wouldn't wake up. I was worried." Karou whispered. Hikaru's heart jumped out of his chest at the sound of his voice. The sound of his brothers gurgling and choking stained his mind. Karou broke his thoughts and ran a hand through his hair gently. Hikaru's breathing slowed as he calmed down.

"What was it about?" Karou asked. He regretted it immediately as his brother stiffened and shuttered in his arms. He softly cooed the older twin. "

You don't have to say anything if you don't want to." Hikaru nodded and nuzzled into Karou's shoulder. He loosed his grip on his brother, but wasn't yet ready to let go. The younger twin's warmth was soothing, and it helped calm his frayed nerved.

Hikaru could hear Karou's heart beat. He let out a small breath, happy to know his brother is alive and healthy. He looked into his big, worried, amber eyes. They wasn't swollen, or crying, or oozing black goo. In fact he looked almost heavenly. His amber eyes shone almost gold in the light, and gazed softly at the twin. His red hair tussled from running a hand through it. His skin was a creamy white with no imperfections. Though the two twins looked alike, Hikaru couldn't help but feel memorized by the boy holding him.

Karou ran his fingers gently down Hikaru's face in a comforting manner. Hikaru relaxed and rested his head on his younger twin. "Thank you," he mumbled, though he couldn't fall asleep yet. The nightmare still clung to the back of his mind.

The next day in the music room, the host club was teasing Tamaki for wanting Haruhi to wear a maids outfit. Haruhi was not fond of the idea and quickly turned it down, without even a seconds thought. Tamaki ran off in the corner growing mushrooms while the group laughed at their King. Everyone but Hikaru and Kyoya. Though Kyoya was just writing something in that clipboard of his. Hikaru on the other hand felt terrible after such a bad night. He had managed to convince everyone that it was from not sleeping well.

Hikaru lay on the couch with an arm over his eyes. Haruhi had noticed his upset nature, and went to him, gently placing a hand on the boys head.

"Are you ok Hikaru?" she asked softly. Hikaru was a little upset that it wasn't Karou who came by, but shrugged it off.

"Yeah, I'm alright, just didn't sleep well." he retorted.

"Then why didn't you eat today?" she asked. Hikaru sighed and sat up, pushing her hand off him. He looked at the chocolate dipped cherries Honey had brought over for him. Hikaru liked them, but he wasn't sure he could stomach it.

"I'm just not hungry ok." Hikaru left, leaving Haruhi alone on the sofa, and went to Karou's side, hugging him from behind and resting his chin on the twins shoulder. Karou responded by automatically placing his hand on his brother's. Hikaru nuzzled into his brother's shoulder, hiding his face and sighed.

"I have an idea!" Tamaki shouted, triumphantly waving his hand in the air. Hikaru took a deep breath and smiled. He wasn't going to let one bad night ruin the rest of his day.

"This year we are going to Haruhi's house for a commoners Halloween!" He shouted. Haruhi's jaw dropped.

"What makes you think I still celebrate Halloween! Its a child's holiday! And not to mention it's rude to invite yourselves!" Haruhi complained, but no one listened. Tamaki and Kyoya were making the plans, and everyone else was in on what costumes they should have. A little debate started about if they should all go as something matching or all together random. Tamaki wanted everyone to be matching, like they do in the host club when they cosplay. Karou and Hikaru laughed. Haruhi looked faint, and frowned. She really did not like the idea.

"What are you going as Karou-chan?" Honeys said, poking at Karou's leg. Hikaru closed his eyes and furrowed his brows. He didn't know why this was bothering him, but he didn't want anyone touching his Karou. Hikaru paused for a moment, why was he thinking that? Karou wasn't an object, and it was just Honey, nothing bad would happen from that. The image of Karou chocking on black tar pushed its way into his thoughts. His stomach did triple back flips.

Hikaru let go of Karou and ran to the nearest bathroom. Lucky for him the school was empty. The club stayed a little after because Tamaki wanted to tell everyone his idea.

Hikaru keeled in front of the toilet and dry heaved a little, and cold sweat beaded on his face. He just wanted to forget the damned thing.

Karou opened the bathroom door. "Hikaru, are you in here?"

Hikaru grunted a little, and whipped his forehead with his sleeve. Karou stood at the stall door and looked down at the paler twin. Hikaru felt like curling up in ball with the way Karou looked down at him. He felt so small and weak. Karou kneeled down and hugged him. Hikaru took a deep breath, and together they stood. The older twin saw the worry in Karou's eyes, so he smiled to show he was better. Karou nodded and they walked out of the bathroom.

The club was waiting outside the bathroom door, all of them with a worried look on their faces. Hikaru smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

"I think it's time that we go home." Karou said, looking at the twin. He had really bad bags under his eyes, and his face was drained off all color. Karou couldn't stand to see his twin like this. He know Hikaru needed some sleep.

The sun was setting by the time the brothers got home. The air was chilling fast, leaving summer warm nights in the past. A breeze was shaking the trees of their yellow and red leaves. The sliver of a moon started to rise from behind the mansion.

Hikaru stumbled into the bed. He was so tired from the restless night, and just wanted to be by his brothers side. Karou smiled and placed an arm over his waist. Hikaru's exhaustion plus the comfort of his brother was really all he needed to fall asleep.

He had had the dream again. Hikaru knew exactly what was going to happen and he still couldn't save his brother in time. He screamed and cried out, pawing desperately at the air, wanting his brother back.

Karou shook his sleeping brother, worried for the poor twin. He had been screaming his name and crying. Karou's heart was in his throat. His brother was suffering and nothing could save him from that dream.

"Hika! Please wake up!" Karou shouted.

Hey guys! So this is the first time I have written anything, story wise. I understand that there might be some flames about my grammar, but I don't have a beta and Word's grammar correcting skills is not the best, so I did my best. Do realize there will most likely be more chapters in the future. And as a warning now, I am in fact adding lemons later.

And I would love any and all reviews ^_^

Thank you very very very much!


	2. Monsters in my Head

Chapter 2: Monsters in my Head

Hikaru lay helpless in his sleep. Karou can't do anything but worry, and he was pretty sure his heart can't take any more than that. He was glad that his brother wasn't yelling anymore, and he had finally calmed a little. Karou kissed his brothers cheek, and rested his lips on the others forehead. A tear slipped down _Karou's cheek. _

"Please be ok…" He whispered. He felt so helpless, there was nothing he could think of doing that could help the older twins suffering. Karou placed a hand on his brothers chest, feeling his heart beat and breathe moving his chest. Carefully he shifted until he cradled the twin.

Drowsiness swept over the boy like the sea, slowly rolling over him, making it aware of its presents. The clock read 3:53 am. He had been up all night worrying about his brother, but he didn't want to sleep now! What if his brother woke and needed him? Karou could feel his eyes getting heaver. Maybe a few minutes of sleep wouldn't hurt.

_Hikaru sat in darkness for what seemed like hours, waiting for something to happen. He had again witnessed his brother's painful death. This time he even knew what was going to happen, and he couldn't save him. It hurt his heart terribly knowing that he couldn't save his own brother. He could feel tears slid down his face into the abyss around him. _

_Slowly the room started to change colors and a new image faded into view. Hikaru used the back of his hand to wipe the tears off his face, and slowly stood up. As much as he hated the idea of the dream going on, he needed to get through this. _

_He was in an area he knew very well. He was in his own house, at the base of the stairs. Slowly and stealthily he climbed the stairs, reluctant to find what was at the top, but at the same time something was compelling him forward. _

_"Curiosity killed the cat..." He mumbled to himself. A stair creaked underfoot and he flinched, but he kept moving forward. His legs started to burn._

_When Hikaru reached the top all the lights started to turn off, and a line of candles lead to his room. The same room he shared with his brother. Preparing for the worst, he inched forward. With a deep breath he opened the door, and froze. _

_Karou lay on the bed face down. He still had wounds and black stains on his body from where the tar had been. Hikaru couldn't see his face, but it wasn't needed to know that Karou still wasn't breathing._

_ From the corner of the room he saw something moved. Shifting his eyes from his diseased brother he looked. There, in the corner, was nothing. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. _

_Someone's breathe ran down his neck. A shiver ran up his spine. Every ounce of his body was telling him to run, but he felt frozen to the spot. A slimy thing licked sloppily up his neck to his ear. Snapping out of it he quickly ducked away and turned around. Bad idea. _

_The being was not human at all. Its arms were merely sticks that Hikaru could only guess was used to help balance. Its legs were human like, but skinnier, and where its genitals should have been was multiple long swinging tentacles. The long slivering tongue licked black lips, drool piling on the floor. _

_The tentacles shot for Hikaru. He panicked and jumped out of the way, hitting his head on the dresser. Hikaru thought they were going to shoot for him again. He scrambled around, trying to get up. But they didn't shot for him. The creature let out a long, scratchy laugh. _

_Hikaru looked up and saw Karou's body above him. His mouth was gaping wide open, and his eyes were completely black. Hikaru let out a scream._

_The creature's tentacles wrapped around Karou's body, and defiled it right in front of Hikaru. He couldn't take this anymore; he was going to be sick. Tears rolled down his face. The monster was blocking the only exit. _

_Hikaru fell through the floor. He was expecting to hit the floor, but it never came. He fell and fell, like Alice down the rabbit hole. _

Hikaru's eyes shot open. He immediately shot up and ran for the bathroom. He emptied his stomach, and sat by the toilet, crying silently.

So that my friends was chapter 2. A bit of a challenge to write, but i think i did it well. Anywho, tell me what ya think k ^_^ i very much appreciate it

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